Boo hoo hoo, Lawrence Phillips Went Psycho Again

I'm sure Dick Vermeil is distraught to learn that the football world's biggest waste of DNA, Lawrence Phillips, has allegedly screwed up yet again. This time, Phillips was in a snit over his performance in a pick-up football game, and decided that the way to handle it was to plow his car into a bunch of kids. A California judge has decided that he needs to stand trial for his conduct. If convicted, Phillips could get 13 years in prison, but you know he won't.

To Phillips' credit, it appears that he at least decided to attack men--well, teenage boys-- this time. Usually, he likes to smack around the ladies. Although Phillips has hit a number of women, his most famous incident occured when he was at Nebraska. There, as you may recall, he was accused of breaking into his ex-girlfriend's room, dragging her by the hair down several flights of stairs, and slamming her head into a mailbox. Tom Osborne suspended Phillips, but made sure to reinstate him in time for the 1996 Fiesta Bowl.

I guess his two foremost apologists, Tom Osborne and Dick Vermeil, would suggest that Phillips' decision to attack teenage boys instead of women shows that he's learning from his mistakes.

Osborne, by the way, is now a Congressman from Nebraska and a sanctimonious ass. While he never met a sexual assault by one of his players that he couldn't overlook (remember Christian Peter?), Janet Jackson's Super Bowl boobie flash created such a sense of moral outrage in Osborne that he was prompted to co-found something called the Sex and Violence in the Media Caucus. Truly a great American.