WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My alma mater, Ohio University, just won its first round game by spanking Georgetown 97-83. The last time the Bobcats won an NCAA game was while I was in college in
1983. That was great. Tonight was simply unbelievable.

Ohio was a 14 seed. Georgetown was a 3.

Georgetown was rattled from almost the beginning of the game and never recovered. Even though the Hoyas outscored Ohio in the paint, OU rained in three-pointers throughout the game. OU's guards, junior Armon Bassett and true freshman D.J. Cooper, controlled the game, and the Hoyas couldn't stop them. I couldn't stop watching---not even for an instant.

Great win. I can't write anything more.

Happy Birthday Bambino

I just toasted the ever-lovin' Babe with a chilly one in honor of his 115th, which officially ended about an hour ago. For me, his name still means the excitement of baseball when I was young. I think it always will.

George Will, in comparing him to others who played the game, referred to him as
"an Everest in Kansas." I think that's about right.

Psssst.

Hey Jim Caldwell, up until the time you pulled all your starters, your team was undefeated and chasing history. I understand what you were doing, but that takes some stones.

In related news, even though the Jets got the win, Braylon Edwards did damn little. For those keeping track at home, he didn't get anywhere near catching 55 passes this year, which is rumored to be what it takes to transform the pick the Browns will get into a second.

I'll Believe It When I See It

Holmgren, huh? Sorry to be cynical about this, but I'm not buying that this is anything beyond a negotiating ploy to get the Seahawks to move more quickly.

Mike Holmgren is exactly the kind of guy that the Browns need as their football czar. He's experienced, he's a winner, and his unsuccessful effort to wear two hats in Seattle probably has given him an appreciation for just how much is involved in a general manager's role. His draft record is a mixed bag, but it does include Shaun Alexander and Steve Hutchinson, both of whom are better than anyone who's worn a Browns uniform in a generation.

Perhaps best of all, Holmgren's got zero ties to Belichick and his coaching progeny, and has a reputation for not suffering fools. Based on Eric Mangini's statements in this morning's paper, the prospect of Holmgren showing up in Cleveland is already making the Mangenius extremely uncomfortable. In fact, I think it's fair to say that when you read his quotes, you can almost see the beads of sweat on his upper lip.

If the Browns do sign Holmgren, then I really think a celebration is in order. I just can't convince myself that this is actually going to happen. Here's why: if I'm Mike Holmgren, why do I want any part of this mess? Aside from the fact that the team has 11 picks in next year's draft, there's nothing to recommend this job. The organization is a laughingstock with a deeply ingrained culture of losing. The owner has proven to be eccentric, impulsive, and erratic, and seems to be much more interested in his Premier League soccer team than his NFL franchise. Besides all of that, the idea of relocating to Northeast Ohio just isn't likely to hold much attraction to a West Coast guy like Holmgren.

If you've got no better alternatives, then maybe you sign up for this trainwreck, since Randy Lerner does have that billionaire thing going for him and his checks will definitely clear. But it's unlikely that Cleveland will end up being Holmgren's only alternative. In addition to the Seahawks and the perennially open positions in Washington and Oakland (which are every bit as unattractive as the Browns' spot), several other teams, including perhaps Tampa Bay and Chicago, may be in the czar market this offseason. That means Mike Holmgren is likely to have plenty of alternatives in the near future, and if so, why on earth does his take this one?

I guess the answer to that question is that if Holmgren figures out a way to turn around a franchise as far gone as Cleveland, then he goes from borderline Hall of Famer to an absolute lock. I really hope Holmgren decides to take the job. In fact, it's all I want for Christmas, but I'm afraid that I'm much more likely to wake up to find the usual lump of coal in my stocking.

Torn

I watched last night's game with really mixed emotions. On one hand, like any true son of Ohio, I hate the Steelers. Every single time Rothliesberger got sacked, I kept wishing that Joe Turkey Jones would have finished it off. Every time Cribbs stiff-armed someone, I was thrilled. Stopping Rothliesberger's consecutive win streak against Cleveland and dimming any chances for a trip to the playoffs was, as they say, priceless.

But, as loyal readers know, the Rhino and I love the NFL draft. We love gearing up for it and inflicting our opinions upon you here. This year, the biggest defensive stud in years is coming out, but a team's gonna need the very first pick to get him---Ndamukong Suh of Nebraska. He's a 6'4", 300 lb monster, who tears up offensive lines. He'd look damn fine in an orange helmet lining up next to Shaun Rogers, but that's not going to happen now due to the big win.

I can't help but thinking that some toothless bastard in Pittsburgh is laughing his ass off in his trailer and that Mangini and Daboll are somewhere singing alleluia.

Merry Christmas, Pittsburgh!!!

DEE-FENSE!!!
DEE-FENSE!!!
DEE-FENSE!!!

You just had your season ended by a team that won one game all year.

Deal with it, yinzers.

Evan Moore

On a day when the Browns didn't suck nearly as much as fans thought they would, perhaps the biggest question on everyone's mind was "who the hell is this Evan Moore guy?"

Until Saturday, Moore was a member of the Browns practice squad. However, after his performance yesterday, it's very unlikely he'll be back there anytime soon. Moore caught six passes for a team leading 80 yards, and with the exception of a fourth quarter ball that hit him in the helmet, pretty much snagged anything that was remotely catchable. In fact, he probably made more tough catches in a single afternoon than Braylon Edwards made during his entire career with the Browns.

So who is this guy? Well, according to the Stanford media guide, he was a high school All-American in football and basketball, played basketball on Stanford's #1 ranked team during his freshman year, was voted the Stanford football team's most outstanding sophomore, and was an honorable mention All-Pac 10 that season.

So how does a guy like that end up on the NFL's Island of Misfit Toys? Well, Moore dislocated his hip during the first game of his junior year. That hip injury was very serious (one media report used the word "horrific"), and cost Moore his entire junior season. He returned the following season, but the hip injury was just the first in a series of injuries that have plagued Moore ever since. After returning to the team in 2006, Moore suffered a stress fracture in his foot that limited his playing time that season.

Moore had a good, but not outstanding senior season in 2007. His size, athleticism and the flashes of brilliance that he'd shown during his playing career at Stanford still managed to put him on the NFL's radar screen. However, he didn't have the speed to play WR at the professional level and he'd never played a down at TE, so Moore went undrafted. The Saints signed him as a free agent, but quickly released him. The Packers picked him up, but the injury bug bit again, and Green Bay put him on injured reserve after he suffered a pre-season knee injury. Green Bay waived him prior to the start of the 2009 season, and he was signed to the Browns' practice squad in early November.

This morning's Plain Dealer pointed out that yesterday was Moore's first professional game. What's more impressive is that yesterday's game was the first football game of any kind that Moore has participated in since 2007. Based on Moore's performance, it's highly unlikely that it will be his last game.

Jamal and The Hall

Shortly after the news broke about the likelihood that Jamal Lewis sustained a career-ending injury last weekend, speculation began about whether he's got Hall of Fame credentials. Although this year, we've come to know him as Grumpy the Aging Tailback, Jamal Lewis has been a terrific football player over his career and there's an awful lot to like about his approach to the game. When it comes to the Hall though, my guess is that the answer is going to be "close, but no cigar."

Lewis has always been a hard nosed, old-school running back who played the game with a great deal of intensity, and he had some of the most spectacular individual performances in the history of the game. Unfortunately, I think the case for him on rushing yardage alone isn't real strong, and that's a problem, because that's the only category in which Lewis ranks among the NFL's top 25 performers all-time. He ranks 30th in rushing touchdowns, barely cracks the top 50 in yards from scrimmage, and ranks 70th in all-purpose yards.

But a bigger problem for Lewis may be the peers he's up against. He'll be considered along with guys like Edgerrin James, Ladanian Tomlinson, Shaun Alexander and Fred Taylor, and that's going to be really a tough bunch to be competing with when it comes time for the voters to decide.

Those who advocate for Lewis point to the fact that he's one of only five players in NFL history to rush for 2,000 yards in a single season, his record shattering 295 yard performance against the Browns in 2003, and his selection as the league's MVP that same year. If you're a fan of Lewis, you might also argue that voters should factor in some of the time he lost. After a spectacular rookie season during which he rushed for over 1,300 yards and helped the Ravens win a Super Bowl, Lewis blew out his ACL and missed the entire 2001 season. (His legal problems also led to him missing four games during the 2004 season). That missed time may well have cost Lewis 1,500 yards or more, and if you add that to his total, he's over 12,000 career rushing yards and probably a shoe-in. My own guess is that this argument isn't going to count for much. The only guy whose injuries I think voters really took into account when they voted on him was Gale Sayers, and to paraphrase Lloyd Bentsen, "Jamal, you're no Gale Sayers."

If you're a fan of more delusional arguments in favor of Jamal Lewis, you might want to check out the guy in Baltimore who points to Jamal's Christ-like humility as the quality that tips him over the edge and makes him a first ballot selection. According to this writer, the one thing that Hall of Fame voters really groove on is a humble player. Seriously? How do you suppose they feel about drug convictions?

At this point, it looks like most of Hall of Fame voters think that Lewis is a long-shot. For what it's worth, I think the bottom line on Jamal Lewis is that he will be remembered as one of the decade's great backs, but not quite a Hall of Fame caliber player. I'll tell you what though, anybody who loves to watch a guy play football the way it's supposed to be played will definitely miss Jamal Lewis.

Sunday, Bloody Sunday

Nice way to end the holiday weekend, wasn't it? I kind of knew that it was going to be a bad day when I opened The Plain Dealer and read Mary Kay Cabot's interview of Eric Mangini. I know I complained about him giving interviews to the national media, so I suppose that I should give him his due for sitting down with Cabot, but jeezes -- the guy just comes across so badly.

Unfortunately, whenever he opens his mouth, Coach Mangini consistently manages to create the impression that he's got the integrity of a Cuyahoga County politician and the sincerity of Eddie Haskell. I actually kind of feel bad for the guy -- he's obviously sensitive to the criticism he's received, and even told Cabot that he wanted his critics to "at least give me the opportunity to express the other side."

Okay, fair enough. But then Mangini follows that up with a statement that he's got no idea where the perception that players hate playing for him comes from, because after all, "all of those guys from New York came here and they know exactly how I am..." C'mon coach -- is that the best you can do? Half of those guys came here in trades, and the other half were free agents who didn't exactly have 31 other teams pounding on their doors. The fact that they came here doesn't mean that they like playing for you, it just means that they like getting an NFL paycheck.

Mangini may be unconvincing, but at least he provides some entertainment value, which is more than I can say for his football team. After last week's head fake, the Berea Turds offense returned to form against the Bengals. Yesterday's game featured Brian Daboll's "Screens Gone WILD!" game plan, Grumpy the Aging Tailback, extremely offensive offensive line play, receivers who are so disoriented that they make a compelling argument for in-game drug testing and, last but not least, a noodle-armed QB who couldn't hit the broad side of a barn. In short, it had everything you've come to love about this season's edition of the Turds' offense.

The defense also didn't disappoint. The Bengals may not have passed the ball real well, but you don't have to when you're racking up 210 yards on the ground. As LB David Bowens put it, "They came out and ran the ball, what, 75 times?" It turns out that the Bengals ran the ball 45 times, but it must have seemed like much more than that to the Turds defense, which spent 38:11 on the field yesterday afternoon.

Of course, the Bengals didn't just grind out yardage -- they also ground up defenders. While the apparent season-ending injury to Shaun Rogers is the biggest piece of bad injury news to come out of yesterday's game, a total of four defensive starters left the game with injuries. The Browns have already been hammered by injuries this season, and you got a sense for just how bare the cupboard is when receiver Mike Furrey was brought in to play defensive back after Pool went down. So if you don't think things can possibly get worse, well, stay tuned.

Another week, another hopeless loss. Sunday, bloody Sunday. Like Bono says, I'm so sick of it.

It Would Be Nice If They Knew the Rules

This morning's Plain Dealer carried a story detailing the whining that the Browns engaged in after Hank Poteat was called for pass interference. I understand how frustrating it is to lose a game like that, but I've watched the reply several times, and the refs absolutely got it right.

Hey, mistakes happen, and sometimes they cost you games, but what really boggles my mind is that both Eric Mangini and Hank Poteat appear to think they've got a legitimate beef with the call on that play. Both of these guys complained that the QB was outside of the pocket, which according to their interpretation of the rules, allowed Hank Poteat to knock the receiver out of bounds while the ball was in the air.

Sorry guys, but that ain't the rule. Mangini and Poteat are confusing an exception to the illegal contact rule with a non-existent exception to the prohibition on pass interference. Generally, a defender engages in illegal contact if he makes contact with a receiver -- before the ball is thrown -- that impedes him in any way more than five yards beyond the line of scrimmage.

This rule was put in place back in 1978 (and amped up in 2004) to open up the passing game. The illegal contact rule is probably the stupidest rule in the entire rulebook other than the Brady Rule, but that's not what's relevant to the Browns' situation. What is relevant is an exception to the illegal contact rule that applies if the QB is out of the pocket. The reason for that exception is that when the QB's scrambling, he's a potential runner, and any receiver can justifiably be regarded as a potential blocker. The NFL adopted this exception before the 2007 season.

That exception doesn't apply to pass interference. According to the NFL rule book: "It is pass interference by either team when any player movement beyond the line of scrimmage significantly hinders the progress of an eligible player of such player’s opportunity to catch the ball. Offensive pass interference rules apply from the time the ball is snapped until the ball is touched. Defensive pass interference rules apply from the time the ball is thrown until the ball is touched."

One of the things that the rule specifically says constitutes pass interference is "cutting off the path of a receiver by making contact with him without playing the ball." Check out Poteat's play (if you can stand to look at it again) and tell me if it wasn't a textbook example of pass interference.

Like I said, textbook. It doesn't matter that Stafford was out of the pocket. Once he threw the ball, the Browns couldn't have been penalized for illegal contact, and the scrambling QB exception to that penalty no longer applied. Unfortunately, the moment that the ball left Stafford's hand, the pass interference rule did apply --and the fact that Bryant Johnson wasn't the intended receiver does not matter. He was an eligible receiver, and Poteat's contact cut off his path to a ball that was not clearly uncatchable. Read the rule for yourself if you don't believe me.

Cleveland: The Best in the Business

...of creating heroes.

Perhaps no city's sports teams have done a better job of creating heroes and legends than Cleveland's have. Unfortunately, rather than striding joyously into the history books adorned with a laurel wreath, Cleveland's always the raison d'etre for the newly annointed. It's always some other guy, some other team, some other victory parade, and some other bit of history that will be remembered from generation to generation. Cleveland always plays a small but significant role in the emerging legend---the vanquished, the plucky opponent, the valiant opposition. The loser.

Long-time Clevelanders tend to have a "woe is me" attitude about sports that is fueled by a sense of entitlement resulting from decades and lifetimes of suffering. They view losses in big situations as something that was done to them, to the team, to the city, to the state, and to us. In fact, I suspect that the Cleveland sports teams of the past 50 years have created far more atheists than any church scandals.

We tend to sit around wringing our hands and looking for someone or something to blame , but we forget that the winner goes away to a new life as a champion. The Catch cemented Willie Mays' reputation as a stellar fielder and gave him a World Series Ring. Red Right 88 propelled the Raiders to become the first wildcard team to win the Super Bowl. The Shot was Jordan's announcement to the world that he had entered the big stage. The Drive, for the first time in his life, made Horseface a big game winner. The Fumble cemented that reputation. Last year's Eastern Conference Finals, at Cleveland's expense, introduced Dwight Howard to everyone outside of Florida.

But not all heroes are christened on a big stage. Yesterday, #1 pick, Matt Stafford and the lowly Lions hosted the Browns in what could have been dubbed The Pathetic Loser Bowl (If only Matt Millen were still with Detroit). Both teams entered 1-8, and to say each team's QB was "embattled" would have been an understatement. Stafford and Brady Quinn have been booed and jeered, and at least in the blue collar towns that follow each franchise, their manhood has been ridiculed. In the end, Stafford walked away a winner following a come- from- behind, game- winning touchdown pass with no time left on the clock. That's a nice win for a rookie QB, but because Cleveland was the opponent, it was even bigger and better.

On the last play during regulation, Stafford chucked a pass for the end zone that was intercepted, sealing an apparent Browns' victory. Meanwhile, Stafford was stretched out on the turf with what looked like a serious arm injury. However, as the great Howard Cosell might have said, "But wait. Cleveland had failed to reckon with the steely-eyed determination of one Matthew Stafford." You know how it goes. Pass interference in the end zone puts the ball on the one with no time on the clock for one last play. But, Stafford is so shaken up, he's taken out of the game. Duante Culpepper is brought in for the final play. And then, Mangini calls time out. When play resumes, Stafford runs on the field clutching his left shoulder, calls a play, and throws a touchdown pass. It was that easy. Lions win. Browns lose, and the scribes are left to write about Stafford's gritty performance.

Perhaps some day when he's elected to the Hall of Fame or holding a Super Bowl trophy, Stafford will reflect upon how his greatness began and think of the Cleveland Browns fondly.

What If They Win?

As the Browns prepare for their upcoming game against the almost equally woeful Detroit Lions, there's a nagging fear that's beginning to creep into the back of my mind.

What if they win?

If the Browns beat the Lions, they are looking at a schedule for the remainder of the season that is chocked full of the worst teams that the NFL has to offer. While they will undoubtedly get their heads kicked in by Pittsburgh, Cincinnati and San Diego, the Browns close out the season with the Kansas City Chiefs, the Oakland Raiders, and a Jacksonville Jaguars team that is much worse than its record.

The Chiefs and the Raiders are so bad that the Browns have a legitimate shot at both of those games, while the Jags will face the Browns (in Cleveland, in January) after a three week stretch in which they will have played Indianapolis, Miami and New England. So, as horrific as they are, it's just possible that the Browns might win all three of those games. Coupled with a victory against the Lions, that would make the Browns 5-11, which just might be the worst outcome imaginable.

Don't get me wrong -- if the Browns actually do improve, that's terrific. But the scenario that worries me is one in which they squeak out ugly wins against Oakland and the Chiefs in games that make the Buffalo game look like a masterpiece, and then cap that off with a season-ending "upset" against a demoralized Jaguars team that's playing out the string. In other words, without any meaningful improvement, the Browns could end up 5-11, with a .500 record in the second half of the season and a three game winning streak.

Given their bumbling, unprofessional approach to front office personnel issues, I have very little faith that the Browns are going to have an easy time finding the "serious, credible leader" they are looking for to fill the GM spot. If the Browns do struggle in their GM search, then bolstered by the team's second half "improvement," Eric Mangini might just be able to persuade the exasperated, desperate and gullible Randy Lerner that the guy he was looking for was already in the building.

If Mangini can pull this off (and under this scenario, he just might), that means that the man who gave us the 2009 draft will have the final say on who they get with the 11 draft picks the Browns have stockpiled for 2010. If that scenario doesn't scare the crap out of you, then you haven't been watching the same team that I have this season.

EA Sports: Let's Get Them In The Game

Okay, I've got an idea. Let's all chip in and buy the Browns coaching staff an Xbox and a Madden NFL 10 video game. Then, instead of doing whatever it is they supposedly do to come up with an offensive game plan, they should just select the next week's opponent, play in Super-Sim mode, write down the plays that the computer calls and use that as a game plan.

Sure, that might sound like a ridiculous suggestion, but when you've got an offense that's as incompetent as a one-legged soccer player and as entertaining as Meet the Press, there are no ridiculous suggestions.

$20 says that the offense devised by the techno-geeks at EA Sports would get the Browns past the other team's 45 yard line at least once, which is more than the coaching staff accomplished last night.

Thank you sir! May I have another?

Yup, I'm off to the Browns game tonight. I'm thinking of wearing no shirt, lederhosen and one of those things that they stuffed into Ving Rhames mouth in Pulp Fiction's most disturbing scene. While admittedly unconventional, I think that this kind of bondage-wear is the most appropriate attire for anyone voluntarily attending the ninth edition of the slow motion train wreck that is the Browns season.

In other words, if you show up for this one, you definitely have a thing for pain. Not only will you have to endure the coma inducing tedium interspersed with moments of slapstick comedy that Brian Daboll calls an offensive game plan, but you'll also be a participant in yet another nationally televised Cleveland joke. What fun.

I'll probably chicken out and dress like any other idiot, complete with my Bernie Kosar jersey to remind me of better days. I'll try to show up on time, if only to spite the knuckleheaded protesters, but despite the change at QB, it's not like I hold out any hope that the team is going to win, or even score an offensive touchdown. The Ravens aren't great, but they're good enough to beat the Browns. (For what it's worth, I watched the Glenville v. St. Ignatius game on Saturday night, and I think Glenville's good enough to beat the Browns.)

So that raises the question, "why show up?" Aside from the fact that I'm a season ticket holder and I've got some sunk costs, that's a question that is getting very hard to answer -- and one that an increasing number of fans are starting to answer by saying, "the hell with it -- I'm not going."

Well, I'm going, but I'm not sure why. Part of it has got to be the masochism thing, but part of the reason is likely even more unflattering -- it's probably got to do with the part of human nature that makes us slow down so that we get a good look at traffic accidents.

Maybe I'd be better off investing the money that I spend on Browns tickets on a good shrink. Maybe we all would.