Ho, Ho, Ho

It's December, kiddies, and that means it's time to buy stuff. The first thing you should buy, if you don't already own it, is your very own copy of the heartwarming holiday classic, Bad Santa. As far as I'm concerned, you can keep George Bailey and Ralphie, for me, it ain't Christmas without Billy Bob Thornton. Billy Bob's a drunken reprobate who, along with his midget sidekick, annually gets a department store Santa and elf gig for the sole purpose of robbing the store blind after closing on Christmas Eve.

Thornton's performance was made even more compelling by the fact that he's admitted to being half in the bag during shooting. I love that, but I love most things about Billy Bob. I guess that self-important wind bag who hosts "Inside the Actors Studio" interviewed Thornton on his show. I didn't see it, but when I think of what the interview must have been like, I can't help picturing something like the last scene in Sling Blade.

In addition to Thornton and his sidekick, Tony Cox, the film features hilarious performances by Bernie Mac and John Ritter, as well as the most bizarre kid character ever committed to film. Trust me on this, "Thurman Merman" has to be seen to be believed.

You will hate yourself for watching this nasty, vulgar, crude, foul-mouthed, depraved, prurient masterpiece, but you'll get over it. Oh, and when I say "foul-mouthed," I mean really, really foul-mouthed--to the tune of, according to IMDB's website, an incredible 147 F Bombs amid a total of 243 "profanities"in slightly more than an hour and a half. Do the math--that's almost three profanities per minute. So, definitely send the kids to bed for this one. But once you do, pop some popcorn, throw another log on the fire and put Bad Santa in the DVD player this weekend.

You'll hate yourself in the morning, but you probably would anyway, so you might as well have a few laughs.