Monday, November 09, 2009

It's Mangini's Planet

It looks like an anxious nation will have to hold its breath a while longer. That's because Browns head coach Eric Mangini has decided that he will not announce the starting QB for the team's upcoming game against the Baltimore Ravens until Wednesday.

Mangini must think that the fact that the now affordable Brady Quinn will start the game isn't apparent to everyone or, worse, that there's some meaningful strategic advantage to be gained by keeping this obvious information from the Ravens. If that's the case, he's venturing beyond garden variety NFL coaching paranoia and into tin foil hat territory.

Nobody cares about your personnel decisions, Coach, for at least two reasons. First, you have made absolutely certain that the team possesses no offensive threats whatsoever, regardless of who starts at QB. Second, Coach Mangenius, I think it's fair to say that at this point the rest of the league thinks that you provide the Browns with the same "schematic advantage" that your fellow Belichick Coaching Academy grad, Charlie Weis, provides to the Fighting Irish. Anchors Aweigh!

I will say this for you: you don't lack self-confidence or self-esteem. In fact, some of your recent comments suggest that abject failure has actually gone to your head -- the most notable of these comments is your statement that you'll be closely involved in the selection of the guy whose job is supposed to be stopping you from killing again. Talk about chutzpah!

I guess fans should've known for a long time that this is your planet and we should be grateful that you share the air with us. After all, that's something that the Browns' rookies found out during their excellent 10 hour bus ride to Camp Mangenius, that the rest of the team has been finding out all season, and that your lifelong friend George Kokinis found out for certain last week.

Thanks for yet another reminder, Coach.

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