Sunday, December 31, 2006

Browns v. Texans

The 4-11 Cleveland Browns take on the 5-10 Houston Texans today, and if you still care, I truly pity you. Sure, I'm going to watch today's game, but only because it's a habit. The good news is that Season From Hell VIII really is all over after this week, and you don't have to watch them any more until next season.

When I looked around the Stadium last week, I couldn't believe that there were at least 50,000 fans who decided to spend their hard-earned money and their entire Christmas Eve afternoon on this truly awful football team. I don't want to get all Boston Red-socky on you, but you guys really deserve a lot better than this group of clowns, and Joe Jurevicius as much as said that after last Sunday's disaster. Still, we've all got to remember that William Munny was dead-on when he told Little Bill that "deserve's got nothin' to do with it" right before he blew his head off.

I honestly don't know what to say about this game. Texans' MLB DeMeco Ryans, who has 3.5 sacks and ranks second in the league with 145 tackles, should be a lock for NFL Defensive Player of the Year. There might be some entertainment value in watching him eat Jerome Harrison. I also suppose it might be kind of fun to watch Ron Dayne (no, seriously, Ron Dayne) slam into the Browns makeshift defensive line. Dayne, who underachieved for several seasons in New York, has apparently found a home in Houston. He rushed for a career high 153 yards last week against the pathetic Colts' defense and is currently serving as an inspiration to fat men everywhere.

When you're looking at the Browns, you'll probably get a chance to see several guys you've never seen before and may never see again. Obviously, there's Ken Dorsey, but he's far from the only backup who will see substantial playing time today. Who would have thought we'd see the day when both Babatunde Oshinowo and Travis Wilson were active for the same game? Rob Smith is likely to start ahead of the always banged-up Joe Andruzzi, which means that Isaac Sowells is only one tweaked knee away from hitting the playing field.

You know, it would be the perfect capper on this season if this collection of has beens and never wasses went out and won this game, thus dropping the Browns from third to fourth in the draft. However, Houston's operating under the delusion that they've actually got a promising future, so my guess is that they'll get the job done.

Texans 27, Browns 14.


Vinny said...

I think the Browns are now fourth in the draft standings. Even though Tampa Bay beat Cleveland, Tampa Bay would draft higher. A today win would have bad consequences for an organizations of morons and bums.

Chris McVetta said...

As much as the Cleveland Browns completely mystify me, I must say that I feel even (slightly) worse for the fans of the Detroit Lions.

How the heavens the Lions could throw away the first pick of the 2007 draft (and Brady Quinn) for a meaningless win against Dallas in the final game of their sorry year is completely beyond me...

Matt Millen strikes again!