Tuesday, November 07, 2006

The 2007 Chevy Silverado is the Right Choice for Ohio's Next Senator

If you have watched a football game at any point over the last month, then a conservative estimate would be that you've seen John Mellencamp's Chevy truck ads more than 10,000 times. I've seen several versions of the ads, and while they haven't persuaded me to buy a Chevy truck, they have convinced me to endorse the 2007 Silverado in today's United States Senate race.

Unlike either Mike DeWine or Sherrod Brown, the Silverado comes standard with a Vortec V-6 engine and the Stabilitrak vehicle stability system, not to mention a one ton payload capacity. In contrast, Mike DeWine is the kind of gap-toothed ignoramus who has made Ohio politicians a national laughingstock for almost a century. His opponent, Sherrod Brown, is a limousine liberal married to Plain Dealer columnist Connie Schultz, who won a Pulitzer Prize last year for consistently offering readers columns that are a unique blend of condescension, maudlin self-pity, and misandry.

Some skeptics will dismiss the idea of electing the Silverado by pointing out that it is an inanimate object. That is true, but I ask those skeptics to remember that this kind of disability did not prevent John Glenn from serving the Buckeye State with distinction during his four terms in the United States Senate.

In addition to all that, Mellencamp's ads make it clear that the Silverado stands tall for such bedrock American values as the working man (truck yeah!), the Boy Scouts (truck yeah!), civil rights (truck yeah!), babies (truck yeah!), cowboys (truck yeah!), Katrina devastation (truck yeah!), 9/11 images (truck yeah!) and, in the version that appears below, football (truck yeah!)



Ohio could do worse than the 2007 Silverado, and if past experience is any guide, it probably will. As others have said before me, you're either with the Silverado, or you're with the terrorists.

5 comments:

chocolate starfish said...

This was a tough call for me. I was leaning toward the Ford F-150, with rightthinking Toby Keith firmly in its corner, then I noticed that the 2007 Silverado offered an optional cat-back exhaust system. This baby gives the Silverado a throaty purr or growl and is constructed of free-flowing, mandrel-bent, T304 stainless-steel tubing with semipolished muffler. Both the Touring and Performance systems have a fully polished, dual- walled, four inch angle-cut tip, and feature the iconic Chevy bowtie logo. Verrr nice!! I decided to support the Silverado for senator when the desperate F-150 accused the Silverado of being parked in the parking lot of a local comunity center where a NAMBLA meeting purportedly was taking place .... Hey, Toby Keith, I like my politics and my exhaust super clean ... this is my country!

Ms. Anotop said...

The more gynocentric F-150 has my vote....ratting-out Silverado's participation in NAMBLA is every truck's moral and civic duty...

Hornless Rhino said...

Al Jazeera is reporting that there's a new Bin Laden tape endorsing the F-150.

Anonymous said...

I'm voting for Vinny's neighbor with the tight little can!

F-150 said...

Silverado suffers from Peyronie's Disease