Fearless Prediction

Usually, I leave the football prognostication to my hornless buddy, but today I'll go out on a limb and give it a try. All of the experts say Pittsburgh will win due to the stifling defense they play. Statistically, they'll win because the team with the lowest net passing yards during the regular season generally wins the Super Bowl. That means the team that relies less on the pass usually wins. The (hated) Steelers also win the analysis as to which team gives up fewer yards per attempt and fewer rushing yards per game. I think these things matter. So, in this case, the experts appear to be right. Pittsburgh should win.

How can they lose? Cowher can help. He is a very solid coach and generally sticks to a simple but sound game plan, but did you notice he has a serious penchant for using gadget plays at the weirdest times? I mean was this guy schooled on game tapes of Sam Wicky Wacky Wiche? If Bill trots out one or two trick plays to show the television audience how smart he is, Seattle's opportunistic defense could cash in.

So, where do I stand? I guess it's the (hated) Steelers for three important reasons. First, I think statistics, while not telling the whole story in a game of guts and passion, don't lie. Pittsburgh will stick to the tried and true, and Cowher probably won't do anything too stupid. Second, I think Pittsburgh wins because Cowher has one of the biggest and weirdest jaws I've ever seen. I think Super Bowl victors lately tend to have odd and noticeable characteristics. Think of William Refrigerator Perry, John Horseface Elway, Jimmy Johnson's hair and personality, and of course, Bill Belichik's lack of humor. Perhaps the football gods have marked these men for greatness. Third, a (hated) Steelers victory will cause the Rhino to border upon self-immolation. He always writes better when pissed off.

In the end, it's a win for the Chin. Steelers (still hated) 27 Seahawks 17.