The Cavs Bore Me 'Cause the NBA Blows

Okay, I give up. I try to blog about the Cavs, but I sound like more of a jackass than usual when I do. There's a simple reason for that-- most of the time, the team just bores me so much that it's harder for me to feign interest in them than it is for my wife to feign interest in me.

Don't get me wrong, I like the Cavs, but of the three local teams, they're the team that I care the least about. Why? Because they're part of the NBA, and the NBA just blows.

Here's the latest example: the Cavs are now touting Wi-Fi access at Quicken Loans Arena. Whoopie! Now die-hard fans will be able to concentrate even more on their corporate dealmaking without the bothersome distraction of watching a basketball game.

Of course, most NBA games are so boring, predictable and just plain awful that you can understand why somebody who drew the short straw and had to sit through one in person might want to surf the net instead of watch a parade of intensely unlikeable egomaniacs like Phil Jackson, Kobe Bryant, and everyone ever affiliated with the Detroit Pistons slog their way through glorified pick-up games every night.

The NBA is a league run by corporate lawyers for the benefit of shoe companies. Everything from player dress codes to wireless access is designed to cater to people who don't really give a damn about the teams involved or the outcome of the game. What's worse, the NBA isn't content to just screw up its own product, it has managed to ruin college basketball as well--and let's not even mention how the NBA's most recent Dream Team performed at the last Olympics.

Absolutely devoid of anything interesting to show us on the court, the NBA has decided that it will instead dazzle those in attendance with ridiculous sound and light displays during player introductions, non-stop floor shows at every single break in the action and other antics designed to distract fans from the abysmal quality of the games.

So, while I hope the Cavs make the playoffs and eventually win a title, don't look for me to set any cars on fire during the post-title rioting. Oh, sure, I might do a little looting, but I'll save the real mayhem for a Super Bowl or World Series victory.