We received a comment on the Montana and Bradshaw post from Maureen Kilcullen, one of the webmasters of a site called NFL Former Players, suggesting that readers visit that site for more information on the hardships faced by some NFL retirees. I encourage our readers to read Ms. Kilcullen's comments and visit her website.
If you want to get a sense for how angry these retirees are about the way the NFL and the NFLPA have ignored their plight, read Nick Buoniconti's letter to Gene Upshaw that is posted on the site.
I'm adding a link to the retirees' website, and I encourage everyone to learn more about these issues and to let the league and union know that fans don't want the retired players to be overlooked during negotiations on the new collective bargaining agreement.
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
NFL Retirees' Website
The NHL Could Learn a Few Things From Coach Tressel
Every sports league has scandals: the NFL has Rae Carruth, OJ Simpson and many other miscreants, the NBA has Kobe Bryant and the Portland Jailblazers, and MLB has steroids and the grandaddy of them all, the Black Sox. Still, when it comes down to the sheer weirdness of its scandals, you've got to tip your hat to the National Hockey League.
Only in the NHL will you find the head of the players' union doing a bad Jimmy Hoffa impersonation and ending up in the slammer for skimming money from the players' pension fund. That's what happened in 1998, when Alan Eagleson pleaded guilty to mail fraud and embezzlement charges and served six months in prison.
Only in the NHL will you find a player involved in a murder for hire plot against his agent, who may or may not also have been his lover (not that there's anything wrong with that).
And now, the latest in the "only in the NHL series"--Only in the NHL will you find the wife of the game's greatest hero, Janet Jones (aka Mrs. Wayne Gretzky), implicated in a gambling ring allegedly run by her husband's assistant coach.
The NHL and its officials should take a page from Coach Tressel, who keeps it cool and always comes out smelling like a rose--even when there's a dead hooker in his swimming pool.
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
The Winter Olympiad
Da-dum, da-da dum dum-da-dum da-da dum, da-dum, da-da dum dum-da-dum da da.
The Winter Olympics are here! Yaaah!! Yaaaaaaahhhhh!!!
On the other hand, who the hell cares?
I don't like the Winter Olympics. In fact, the only two things about the Winter Olympics in my lifetime that haven't utterly sucked are the Miracle on Ice, and Franz Klammer's sick downhill run in 1976. I usually ignore them, but for a glimpse at the occasional hockey game or skiing event. In fact, just yesterday, I told a friend that I wasn't going to do any blogging on the Olympics, because they were so lame.
But I reluctantly changed my mind. After all, it's not every year that the Olympics are held in a town named for Starsky & Hutch's car. So, if the stoner skier mouths off or something else bizarre happens, you can rely on Vinny and the Hornless Rhino for the latest in Olympic news. If not, then you're stuck with watching NBC's coverage while Vinny and I try to come up with something intelligent to say about the Cavs.
When does baseball start anyway?
Babe Ruth Week---Day 2
"The only real game, I think, in the world is baseball."
---George Herman Ruth
The Ever-lovin' Babe led the American League in home runs 12 times: 1918-1921, 1923-1924, 1926-1931.
Monday, February 06, 2006
Montana and Bradshaw
Joe Montana and Terry Bradshaw are taking a lot of heat from the media because they decided to skip out on the NFL's little pre-game party. Apparently, fans are supposed to be outraged that these guys wanted the NFL to come through with a little more coin, instead of just participating in the festivities because they "owe it to the game."
This is nonsense, and if you feel this way, well, you're an idiot.
The NFL is a business, and the league never takes its eye off the bottom line, not even for a minute. Nobody knows that more than guys like Bradshaw and Montana. Maybe Bradshaw would like to ask the NFL what it owes the families of guys like the late Mike Webster. According to the NFL, the answer seems to be not much. Mike Webster is in the Hall of Fame, and is one of the greatest centers ever to play the game, but 17 years of football left him with brain damage, and the last years of his life were hard ones.
While Webster's an extreme case, he's far from the only example of a life cut short by a pro football career. The statistics about illness and disability rates among former NFL players are sobering, while recent studies on early death rates are downright alarming. Many retired players feel the league and the union don't do enough to help retired players who are facing serious health and financial issues, and some of them, including Joe Montana, are becoming increasingly outspoken about this issue.
I know it's hard to sympathize with guys who made big bucks during their playing careers, but in many respects, the retirees have a legitimate beef. At the very least, Mike Webster's case suggests that the benefits process can be a bureaucratic mess. Furthermore, while the NFL has a fairly generous pension plan (although baseball's is much more lucrative), depending on when you retired, you must have played for three or four seasons in order to receive pension benefits, and therein lies the rub. According to a 2002 survey conducted by the NFL Players Association, the average pro career was 3.3 seasons, with running backs (2.57 years), wide receivers (2.81) and cornerbacks (2.94) all having average careers too short to allow them to vest in their pensions.
While the NFL loves to sing about the great partnership it has with its players, the truth is that it has gotten away with murder in comparison to other professional sports since it broke the NFLPA during the 1987 strike. Perhaps the most egregious example of how the league abuses its players is way it treats injuries suffered by players in NFL Europe. Those injuries are considered "non-football related," which means that an NFL team who delegates a player under contract to an NFL Europe team doesn't have to pay his salary if the player gets hurt.
The NFL just signed a $24 billion TV deal, has satellite TV and radio deals, and will broadcast some games on its own cable network beginning next Thanksgiving. Furthermore, the NFL never stops eagerly seeking ways to maximize revenues in other areas. The avarice of NFL owners is such that the unthinkable appears to be happening-- the usually somnolent Players Association has awakened, and is now threatening a strike or decertification after the collective bargaining agreement expires in 2007.
With all this as background, does anybody seriously want to contend that Joe Montana and Terry Bradshaw owe you, me, the NFL or "the game" anything? Why is it never the owners who are expected to "give something back"? The NFL has never given anything away to anyone, so if Montana and Bradshaw refuse to play along with the league's sappy Super Bowl pre-game antics without cash on the barrel head, more power to them.
Happpy Birthday to the Greatest Baseball Player Ever.
"Every strike brings me closer to the next home run."
---George Herman Ruth
February 6th is the Great Bambino's birthday. He remains the greatest baseball player in the history of the game. Home run hitters have come and gone. But, there's only one Sultan of Swat. Today, there are pumped up freaks who sully the American pasttime and confuse the casual observer as to what constitutes "greatness." Let's lay the confusion to rest.
In 1927, the Bambino hit 60 home runs in a 154-game schedule. His 60 homers counted for 14% of all the home runs hit by the entire American League. To put that in context for 2005, a batter would have had to hit 340 home runs to equal 14% of the American League's output.
Did he do it in the clutch? Babe remains the only player in MLB history to hit 3 home runs in two separate World Series games. He hit 3 in game 4 of the 1926 Series and did it again when he hit 3 home runs in game 4 of the 1928 Series.
Speaking of World Series' records, he still holds the one for the longest complete game victory in World Series history. In 1916, he pitched the Red Sox to a 14 inning complete game victory against Brooklyn. He gave up 1 run in the first, and then pitched 13 innings of scoreless ball to win the game 2-1.
That, my friends, is greatness. It is unparalleled.
Stay tuned as Babe Ruth week continues. Same Bat time. Same Bat channel.
Sunday, February 05, 2006
Dear Pittsburgh Steelers, Please Accept My Heartfelt Congratulations
-- Captain Ahab, Founder, Cape Cod Browns Backers
Well, well-- you sonofabitchin' bahstages won another Super Bowl. Imagine my surprise. Good. It only makes me hate you more.
So, Steelers, I'm sure you've got quite a homecoming to look forward to. You'll be met at the airport by thousands of people who celebrated your victory by spending their last black lung checks on bottles of Everclear, Ben Roethlisberger jerseys and terrible towels. By the way, if you've ever wondered why your dipstick fans spend the entire game swinging those piss colored towels over their heads, it's because most of them haven't showered since Bradshaw retired and it's the only way to keep the flies off of them.
Then, of course, you'll have a parade through the heart of Pittsburgh. What a gala that will be! I can see it now--the parade route lined six deep with the drunken, unemployed hillbillies that form the backbone of your fan base. I'm sure there won't be a hubcap safe in all of Western Pennsylvania. Hell, maybe your fans picked up some new skills while they were in the Motor City, so perhaps we can look forward to some really heavy duty looting to cap off their three day drunk.
On behalf of all Browns fans, I'd like to make sure that you guys don't forget to get yourselves some nice Super Bowl rings--the bigger the better -- and then, if we could ask just one small favor, please take those rings, and shove them up right up your asses.
Gift on Super Bowl Sunday
Today, in honor of the Super Bowl, I have a gift for the Steelers. I've included excerpts from an article Steve King did on a Browns-Steelers game played on October 10, 1976. I just wanted to show there are no hard feelings. For any Steelers' fans who can read, enjoy:
"But of all the hard hits in the 52 seasons and 105 games, including playoffs, that these teams have had, none of them equal the one that was delivered when the Browns and Steelers met on Oct. 10, 1976 at old Cleveland Stadium.
The Browns pulled off an 18-16 upset win over the two-time defending Super Bowl champion when little-known David Mays came in at quarterback for Brian Sipe, who had been knocked out of the game with a concussion, and rallied the club. That, in itself, is noteworthy, but what everyone remembers from the game is what Browns defensive end Joe “Turkey” Jones did to eventual Pro Football Hall of Fame quarterback Terry Bradshaw of the Steelers.
Jones picked up Bradshaw and spiked him head first to the turf, as if he were trying to drive a fence post into the ground. Bradshaw lost a whopping 17 yards with this, the fourth and final sack he had suffered on the day. But in reality, he could have lost a lot more – like his well-being, for instance.
It was – and remains to this day - the one signature play of this series. And it will forever epitomize what this tough, bone-crunching rivalry between these two hated arch rivals is all about.
But Jones didn’t sack Bradshaw as much as he manhandled or even assaulted him. On the street, Jones would have faced some serious charges for what he did. But this was football. This was the NFL before a lot of the present-day safety reforms had been instituted. “Joe just picked Bradshaw up and slammed him down,” Doug Dieken said. “What I remember is Bradshaw laying on the ground and flopping like a fish.’’
At the time, there was concern that Jones had broken Bradshaw’s spine – literally. "
No hard feelings, my ass.
Fearless Prediction
Usually, I leave the football prognostication to my hornless buddy, but today I'll go out on a limb and give it a try. All of the experts say Pittsburgh will win due to the stifling defense they play. Statistically, they'll win because the team with the lowest net passing yards during the regular season generally wins the Super Bowl. That means the team that relies less on the pass usually wins. The (hated) Steelers also win the analysis as to which team gives up fewer yards per attempt and fewer rushing yards per game. I think these things matter. So, in this case, the experts appear to be right. Pittsburgh should win.
How can they lose? Cowher can help. He is a very solid coach and generally sticks to a simple but sound game plan, but did you notice he has a serious penchant for using gadget plays at the weirdest times? I mean was this guy schooled on game tapes of Sam Wicky Wacky Wiche? If Bill trots out one or two trick plays to show the television audience how smart he is, Seattle's opportunistic defense could cash in.
So, where do I stand? I guess it's the (hated) Steelers for three important reasons. First, I think statistics, while not telling the whole story in a game of guts and passion, don't lie. Pittsburgh will stick to the tried and true, and Cowher probably won't do anything too stupid. Second, I think Pittsburgh wins because Cowher has one of the biggest and weirdest jaws I've ever seen. I think Super Bowl victors lately tend to have odd and noticeable characteristics. Think of William Refrigerator Perry, John Horseface Elway, Jimmy Johnson's hair and personality, and of course, Bill Belichik's lack of humor. Perhaps the football gods have marked these men for greatness. Third, a (hated) Steelers victory will cause the Rhino to border upon self-immolation. He always writes better when pissed off.
In the end, it's a win for the Chin. Steelers (still hated) 27 Seahawks 17.
People Who Get It
As we discussed yesterday, Terry Pluto doesn't get it. However, this guy gets it, and so does this guy, and this guy, and the guys at Cleveland Scores. Hell, even the Denver Browncos get it.
College Hockey
Michigan and Ohio State played each other in hockey Friday and Saturday night at Yost Arena in Ann Arbor. The two teams split a hard fought weekend series. The Buckeyes won Friday's game 7-5, while the Wolverines won last night's game by a score of 3-2.
If you haven't watched a college hockey game, you really ought to give it a try. CSTV shows games on Friday and Saturday nights, and ESPNU has recently started college hockey telecasts as well. It's an exciting, wide open brand of hockey. The college game has always been popular in certain regions of the country, but it has experienced a growth spurt in recent years, and the increased media exposure that the sport got during last season's NHL lockout seems to have given it a bit of a boost.
The other thing that's going on is that the marketing guys are finally starting to wake up. For example, a few years ago the Michigan Wolverines started putting their players in helmets identical to those worn by the football team. Notre Dame followed suit this season, and put their players in gold helmets. (Hey, Buckeyes -- can you take a hint?). Events like the 2001 "Cold War" game, which took place in front of 74,500 fans at Michigan State's Spartan Stadium, have prompted other teams to look into football stadiums as a venue. In fact, just next week, Lambeau Field will host an outdoor hockey game between Ohio State and Wisconsin. The not so subtle effort to connect hockey and football is smart, and should have started a long time ago.
Ohio fans have another reason to follow college hockey, because not only do the Buckeyes have a formidable team, but believe it or not, the Miami Redhawks are currently ranked #1 in the nation.
For those of you interested in giving college hockey a shot, here's a great place to start.
Saturday, February 04, 2006
Screw the Steelers!
In his column in Saturday's Beacon Journal, Terry Pluto tells us that he's rooting for the Steelers in the Super Bowl tomorrow. He justifies this position with some convoluted logic about Bill Cowher being an ex-Brown and the Rooneys crying some crocodile tears when Modell moved the team.
As you know, I'm a big Pluto fan, but I think my man has suffered some sort of brain hemorrhage. Root for the Steelers? Like HELL!!! I hope they all get VD and gum disease. I hope that big, fat, obese, lard-ass, luckiest fumbler in the universe running back of their's tears the butt out of his football pants and needs an angioplasty. I hope they choke on their Primanti Bros. sandwiches and that their city stays bankrupt for longer than ours did. I hope Big Ben knocked up one of the skanks he was drinking with. I hope Troy Polamalu gets a potentially game winning interception only to be dragged down by his freakin' hair. I hope Viagra doesn't work for any of the Steelers who need it, and I hope that the ones who don't need it father daughters who look like Bill Cowher. I hate the Pittsburgh Steelers. I hate their fans. I hate their city. I hate being in the same time zone that they're in. I wish them and their fans nothing but 40+ years of unrelenting misery, starting tomorrow.
Terry, root for Pittsburgh if you want, but as for me, for four hours tomorrow evening, I am officially the biggest Seahawks fan in America. No offense, but screw Pittsburgh, and if you're rooting for the Steelers, screw you too.
P.S. I don't hate everything about Pittsburgh. For example, I like these people a lot.
The Best NFL Team of All Time
A website called TenMojo.com has published a list of the 10 best NFL teams of the Super Bowl Era. The criteria are a bit whacked in that there's no duplication of franchises allowed. That means that because the 1989 San Francisco 49ers make the list, there's no room for the other great 49ers teams. Still, it's hard to argue with the team at the top of the list: The 1985 Chicago Bears. For my money, the debate about which team is the best ever is short and sweet-- the 1985 Bears are simply in a different category than everybody else.
Sure, there are people who will advocate the 1972 Dolphins, and nothing can ever take away from their incredible feat of going 17-0, but no team ever dominated both sides of the ball the way the '85 Bears did. The '85 Bears are the only team in NFL history to allow less than 200 points, while at the same time scoring more than 400 points. In the playoffs and Super Bowl, they outscored their opponents 91-10.
What about the one loss to Miami? In a funny way, that only adds to the legend. Is Ali's legend diminished because he lost the first of his three classic bouts with Joe Frazier? What about "wrestling's Babe Ruth," Dan Gable of Iowa State, who was undefeated in high school and college career, until he lost his final NCAA match to Washington's Larry Owings? I lump the Bears' loss to the Dolphins in with defeats like these. It took place on a big stage: The game was on Monday Night Football, and it is still the highest rated game in NFL regular season history. It had a classic story line: The Dolphins were fighting for their legacy as football's only undefeated team, while the Bears were trying to add that to their rapidly growing legend as a juggernaut. The game was seen as a Super Bowl preview, and but for the 17 points that the Patriots scored off Dolphin turnovers in the AFC Championship, it would have been.
The Bears were never able to establish themselves as a dynasty--Mike Ditka and Buddy Ryan were like oil and water, Walter Payton retired, the Fridge ate himself out of football, Jim McMahon was never able to duplicate his 1985 performance, and Willie Gault headed for the Raiders. Still, for one season, nobody was ever better than the 1985 Chicago Bears.
Marcus McNeill
Most of the mock drafts indicate that the Browns are going to draft a defensive player, but if the team decides to spend its first pick on the offensive side of the ball, several prognosticators suggest that Auburn's Marcus McNeill might be the man they take. McNeill's 6'9" and close to 350 lbs. The scouting report on him begins with the phrase "a massive mountain of a man who is an imposing physical presence..." and builds up from there. McNeill is one of the best run blockers in college football, and for that reason, a lot of people see him as best suited to play right tackle. Negatives include a tendency to rely too much on his size, a perception that he may lack a killer instinct, and some concerns about conditioning.
McNeill is usually ranked as the second best offensive tackle in the draft, behind UVa's D'Brickshaw Ferguson. There's zero chance that Ferguson will be available with the 12th pick, but McNeill just might be. I may be in the minority, but I still think the O-line is the Browns' most critical need, and I think I'd be sorely tempted to take this guy if he was still on the board when the Browns' turn came.
